Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Magic Boots



He is a happy boy.  We have never really had any issues with him being a big problem with tantrums or acting out.  I don't mean he has never had a tantrum, he went through a short phase just before we moved that continued for a few weeks after we got here where he would occasionally throw himself into a full body tantrum...kicking legs, pounding fists, the whole nine yards. It was awesome....NOT!  The thing is, it wasn't really in response to anything, he just seemed to like doing it.  We ignored it and it quickly passed. He has of course had some fits here and there and we handle it the way we think is appropriate for the setting. But as a general rule he is easy going and really just goes with the flow, adapts to whatever situation we put him in. Until the last few weeks.

I know he is getting some new teeth, he is a slobbery mess.  I believe he is growing, pants that were just a few weeks ago too long now fit perfectly.  He is napping a lot longer than usual so maybe he is having growing pains.  But our normally agreeable toddler is not very agreeable!  It's not like I expect for it to always be easy, I know better than that, I've done this before.  But the other boys were not like this one....he will be fine one second and then out of his tiny little body comes the most demanding, impatient request.  Trying to decide on a tv program turns into a meltdown when I put on the show he requested, but should have known he wanted a different one. And let's not even mention what happens if he has less than 2 binkies, 3 would be better, in his possession at any given moment. Plus he doesn't say yes, only no, which sometimes means yes but it's anybody's guess when that rule applies. He doesn't seem to understand when we don't respond appropriately when he says no but clearly means yes!

I know that we are lucky.  A lot of parents put up with daily tantrums and grumpy toddlers everyday, ours fortunately is in short spurts.  Most of the time our happy, agreeable toddler is the one who shows up.  But on the days when he is not I have discovered that these boots will usually fix whatever is causing the problem. He has had them for several months and never been overly attached to them, he prefers to be barefoot.  But a couple of weeks ago he wanted to put them on and everyday since he has had them on.  The past few days he has worn them ALL day.  We do not usually wear shoes in the house but he has been allowed to wear his boots wherever he wants, they make him happy! I sent John a picture of him laying  on our bed with his boots on the other day and when he asked me why, I said because they are magic...they take the grumpy and make him happy.




Some parents might think that we are creating a monster by giving in to his demand of wearing the boots.  Maybe.  But I look at it a little differently.  I am an adult and I can express what is bothering me (usually), but I still want what I want when I don't feel 100%.  That might be my favorite PJ's, or my cozy napping blanket. Somedays I wish I had magic boots. I wouldn't want John telling me that I couldn't have them.  Tiny can't really express to us how he is feeling any way but how he is, and if those boots make the difference than why should it matter if he wears them. And before anyone points out that we can't always have what we want, I am already aware of that.  I think there is a balance between giving them everything they want, giving into their demands AND teaching them that you don't get everything you want. By letting him wear his rubber dinosaur boots when he is 18 months old because they make him happy, am I setting him up for disappointment later because we won't buy him a car because it will make him happy?  I hope not. I hope the lesson that comes from this, and from many more, is that we love him very much.  His feelings have value.  Not all rules, like no shoes in the house, are set in stone. I hope that he learns that he can tell us, in whatever way he can, how he is feeling and we will do our best to make him feel better.  Right now his grumpiness is his way of telling us he isn't 100% and me letting him wear his boots inside is my way of saying, I hear you.  Plus they are super cute on him!







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4 comments:

  1. Those are super cute boots! I dont think you're creating a monster letting him wear them, he's expressing his wants and interests, he loves them, go with it, he won't want to wear them forever :)

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  2. Lovely post! So true.... with little ones we need to pick our battles..... letting him wear his favourite boots inside when he's not feeling so good is a great idea! :)

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  3. This is gorgeous, I have one that was welly obsessed too, not such a bad thing on a farm though I had to put my foot down on them inside but then sparkly clean ones like this would have been quite different!

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  4. Well those boots would make me happy too if I could wear them! I completely agree with you on it being fine to allow him to wear them whenever he wants. My 2yo has a thing for his slippers, which are meant for indoors but which he often wants to wear out too. I always remind myself they're HIS things and HIS body - who am I to say no? I just tell him we have to clean them if he takes them outdoors, and he's always been able to understand (and more importantly, tolerate!) that. I don't see the issue with it at all.

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